Tales from Hell-sinki

So about a year ago I purchased a top of the line white noise machine- the glorious Marsona 1288A for the purpose of “masking unwanted, intrusive noise for a restful nights sleep”–basically block out the cluster f(*&  of traffic noise on second avenue right below my window. I no longer live above second ave but I am still hopelessly addicted to the damn thing. 

A few nights ago I had trouble sleeping due to what can only be described as a persistent seagull perched in the tree below my window in Long Island City. Yes, it’s a bit crazy, but feasible only because 1) I live by the east river (ok yeah it’s a river) 2) It’s New York-let’s face it, ANYTHING is possible. Earplugs and pillows over head allowed me a fitful but existent sleep. 

Next night: same routine. Turned up my white noise but unfortunately the seagull noise broke the barrier.

Third night: Turned off my trusty marsona and headed into the courtyard with a flashlight to conquer/tame offending seagull. No luck. In fact, there was NO seagull noise in the courtyard. Returned to my apartment. No seagull noise in bedroom. Turned on my Marsona- seagull. 

Yes, that’s right folks, I had inadvertently added “Seagulls” to the mix on my top of the line sound machine. From Marsona’s website… “overlay” sounds include:

• Sea Gulls
• Frogs
• Buoy
• Hawk
• Loons
• Song Birds
• Dove
• Owl

I have to believe I would’ve uncovered the problem sooner had the overlay been “loon” or “buoy.” I also believe I am darn close to winning my own damn Darwin award for being such a numbskull.

So last night I ventured into the heart of geekness, otherwise known as “An Evening with S60″ hosted by the S60 Ambassador program at the Nokia Flagship store in NYC.  At the event, Dean Kamen, the inventor of the Segway spoke.

I remember studying the Yanomano in college, a tribe of amazonian natives that remained stunningly unchanged by the world around them due to the relative inaccessibility of their villages. This tribe represented an anthropological gem because they represented a civilization virtually untouched by the modern world.

As I wadded through the crowd last night I felt almost like a field worker in a habitat of pure unadulterated, tech-thusiasm. I watched flocks native technofiles nibbled on appetizers sipped wine and formed small pools of information-exchange in the neon gadget-laden corridors of the flagship store. Many had more than one device some, multiple, but all fluent in tech-ese.  

I approached a loud pod I assumed were the leaders. It turns out this particular pod was composed of one ” whatleydude” who I was introduced to by Jonathan Greene- a guy with an intelligent humility that I totally appreciate. Upon my “presentation” to this whatley dude I realized I had two options 1) admit I had no idea who the hell he was 2) pretend to understand why I should understand that this introduction was significant. I chose the first option: perhaps a mistake but at least honest;)

Turns out “whatleydude” is a Symbian-style celebrity. You can check out his musings yourself at http://whatleydude.vox.com/

WHATLEY DUDE AT REST

Other celebri-geeks at this gathering included Howard Chui of Howard forums and someone named “Dan Dan Dan” or was it “Dan Dan” or was it “Dan Dan Dan Dan” ? cripes I can’t remember.

 …and someone who wasn’t there but in plenty o conversations- Ricky Cadden- so “shout out” to you Ricky, I know you read this thing once, but you’ll be pleased to know from my anthropological perspective you’re a caption on the Ambassador ship.

When it came time for me to beam myself out of there- I donned my backpack with pride and waddled my way out of the village and paddled my way back down 5th Ave disappointed to once again be amongst those who don’t know their Goosync from their Gomcoit. (to be fair neither do I:)

A NOTE: the use of “geek” in this entry is strictly complementary and represents a state of being to which I aspire but lack the essential left brain mass to accomplish.

Had an email conversation with Alan Reiter today who jokingly informed me that “privacy is dead” – a fact which I not so jokingly agree with. Yes private is public everywhere in the digital world and people’s private affairs and thoughts and information are consistently on public display , but I will venture outside the digital world for a minute (oooh ahh) into the hidden private domain of a simple mailbox- let me explain

I unpacked my new mailbox at my new apartment for the first time today. I say “unpacked” because it was simply stuffed into one solid mass of papers with its previous owner’s mail. This is what I now know of them from simply the outside of their mail: Erin and Brian moved into my apartment engaged and left my apartment married. Erin’s maiden name was Roberts until she married Brian and now they are Mr. and Mrs. Hathaway. Brian probably travels for business and is a frequent flier on Delta, Erin shops and Bannana Republic and J. Crew….Brian is into Brooks Brothers- they’re definitely white upper middle class- yes, I’m totally generalizing based on the previous info combined with following subscriptions: Wallpaper, Consumer Reports, Time Out & The Knot (gagg). Erin’s last mobile carrier was T-mobile and Brian banks at chase manhattan. I could go on…..

I’m just saying, this couple left me a friggin time capsule in my mailbox. I actually did feel a bit like an anthropologist sorting through their paper story.